Baby HassanIntroducing my firstborn; baby Hassan, born on 26/10/11, 7-ish a.m, at 39w+5 in our very own bedroom. I converted from hospital birth to homebirth in my 30ish week. We never looked back since then.

I lost the sense of time during labor and surges were poorly timed. But according to hubby, I've been looking uncomfortable at about 2am. Went out for walking exercise and did some groceries shopping that night (25/10). Back home we had cheese cake and I made banana smoothies; been craving for those. Enjoying TV despite of having backache plus occasional cramps but I managed to handle it, pretty calmly. Been having bloody show since the last 2 days, but didn't want to get too excited about it. I was puzzled, this is it? Hubby kept on checking am I ok.

After cold shower, I put on HypnoBirthing audio, scented the room, lights off and we both slumbered to dreamland at about 12midnight. At some point, the surges were getting stronger, till I couldn't lie on my back anymore. I woke hubby then stood quietly at one corner and meditate while listening to my "birthing playlist". That was when hubby realized- "its showtime".

After a while, I sat on birth ball, bounced, swayed. I was pretty active during labor; I walk from door to door, I drank loads in between and urinated frequently as hubby was busy preparing the birthing gears. I said to hubby I wanna go all four now, I couldn't stand up. He stacked pillows, placed it close to the headboard then I just knelt and dunked my head into it. It felt good as hubby applied counter pressure and light touch massage on my back, as I keep telling him "no no, dont stop". In between surges, I drank some more, ate dates, even scribbled something in my handbook.

As surges were closely apart now, I began to feel like passing motion. The hallmark of 2nd stage? But there was no sign of waterbag rupture. Only bloody mucus. Called Najwa, but no answer; she must be sleeping I thought. Oh! I began to wonder, is this alright? Am I doing it right? I lost focus at this point. Hubby cuddled from behind and telling that I was doing good and "its opening" (pls excuse his techy terms LOL). He left me for subh prayer as I gained my confidence back a little. I grabbed my phone again and dialed Nadine's. No answer. A few secs/mins later my phone rang "hello Nadine" (me breathing hard) "no. This is Wai Han" Alamak! All this while I misnamed their numbers LOL. Wai Han helped me get on to the right rhythm again through phone and she will drop by soon.

I renewed my position from all four to half squat to full forward squat on the floor (hubby already prepped with pads and liners). Out of curiosity, I touched at the opening, felt slippery bulge, but I was expecting some hair (overgeneralization) "what's this? This is not hair. Not hair," I said. Hubby was confused. He took a mirror and showed me. I smiled knowing that it was the head in sac. "Alhamdulillah, he's coming" I half cried. Meanwhile, I utilized the surge free time giving direction to Wai Han.

I centered my focus and energy to my baby now, I was eager and very excited to see him. Suddenly, the strongest of all surges took me to experience the infamous "ring of fire". That was when I saw clear fluid dripping (finally it broke). Hubby waited and ready to catch but he used pink towel (ada ke?) I "commanded" him to change the blue or green one, hehe. Another huge surge came, I couldn't hold it, I ended up with one push, I have my baby boy in my arms. I love this part right here. For the first time ever I saw my hubby's tears. We looked into each other's eyes with much love. I love it.

Took off my shirt right after for skin to skin bonding. Baby cried for few minutes as he found comfort on mama's chest. He coughed mucous out. Only few minutes after birth, I felt another surge. Just gave it a push, gush of warm blood came out. And I lifted my butt a bit- plop, the placenta was birth. Wai Han reached a few minutes after plassi came out. Hubby was in "dont know what to do" state, then Wai Han reminded him to took some pictures for remembrance. Wai Han came all the way and helped us clean up. I felt miserable at first. Not sure to thank her or to apologize. Her presence really helped and meant to us a lot.

Hassan Mawardi we named him; after a famous muslim thinker. It was a long awaited pregnancy & birth- we were childless for 3 years. His first cry that morning was like rain after a long dry season. It was truly amazing experience to birth him in our very own lair, only three of us, witnessed by God, and full of love.

— Fazirah (Oct 2011)