loving MummyTeo Kuo Liang was born on December 15, 2010, at home.
When I mention to people that I had homebirth, I had mixed reactions from them. Mostly would say, ‘wow, you are very daring’; some say, ‘wah, you save a lot of money’; some were curious, ‘is it there’s not enough time to get to the hospital?’; some say, ‘luckily you are all right’ and some thought, ‘wah! Must have financial problem’. Only those of my ‘natural friends’ understood why I did just what I did. If natural means something so dear to your heart then it is worth your while. The benefits that your baby and you will reap are far more than words can describe.

The Quest for As-Nature-Intended Birth

Baby Kuo LiangI was about 38weeks pregnant when I found out about HypnoBirthing and thank God Wai Han set an appointment immediately for us to meet her on Tuesday 7 Dec after we spoke on the phone. I had two natural births previously, i.e. Yee Fang (my eldest) about 6hours in labour room, Yee Jia 1hour in labour room (both no painkiller jabs, no drugs, no screams) as planned. But little did I know those natural births were actually not 100% natural until I met Wai Han. My husband and I had always like the idea of being natural as much as possible and I always challenge myself to strive for the better if not best.

I was amazed with homebirthing and like the idea so much that the whole thing kept playing in my mind. Since I had two natural births before, what else was I looking for? As a mother who is constantly in the quest of seeking natural stuffs for my family, I naturally want the best for my kids. I was 37+weeks pregnant when my friend Christie Woo asked me one night why don’t I consider homebirth and Mr. Tan of Purelife organic shop has also mentioned the idea of homebirth to me twice. These provoked my thoughts and I told myself I want to find out about homebirthing and ta da…I turned on my laptop and the rest is history.

The Perfect Birthplan

gently bornMy kids, husband and I met Wai Han on 7 Dec 8pm. As I was looking at the clock after an hour, I made up my mind that I want to do homebirthing. Yes, it is something that sounds so natural and I challenged myself to give the best to my baby. Besides, with knowledge there is no fear. I decided I want to make a difference. The difference compared to my two other natural births are:-
1. No bright lights when birthing my baby. Just dim light away from my baby.
2. Let my baby decides when he is ready to come out, to allow utero transformation to self-complete.
3. Totally no intervention. Forget about all the time the midwife and nurses will tell you to push.
4. While waiting for the arrival of my baby, I’m allowed to take light meals as I require. (My 1st birth I was so hungry as I entered the labour room around 1+pm, yet I was not allowed any food.)
5. Free to choose whatever position I am comfortable with and not confined to bed. (My 1st delivery was worst with both my legs strapped to the sides. On top of that, the fetal machines were strapped on me. It was straining my back so much.)
6. No episiotomy. (My previous two births, lateral episiotomy was done)
7. I’m delighted to hear that my hubby and I can receive our baby ourselves.
8. We would like to keep the placenta as it is and not cut the cord. Let the cord detaches itself. Preparing for lotus birth.
9. I want to hold my baby for as long as needed when he comes out.
10. We decided not to bathe baby and allow the vernix to be fully absorbed by baby.
11. No tubes will be used to extract phlegm or clear his throat. We do not want to frighten our baby.
12. No vaccination. Absolutely no jabs no nothing.
The list goes on. If I were to convey these to the gynaecologist, he/she might not be able to take it. So, why bother to pay few thousand ringgits and strain our relationship? I continued to go for my regular check-ups. I then decided, ‘it is up to me!’ The best position to be is in the continuum of becoming!

Days passed after meeting with Wai Han and I even went for a holiday to Kuantan with my family on Dec 10. Starting to have Braxton Hicks even before going to Kuantan, sometimes lasting for a few hours. On the night of 14 Dec, just before bedtime, I thought the last thing I should do is to communicate with Wai Han. My husband felt a bit insecure to do homebirth somehow and I thought if I can get him over with his fear, I can deliver my baby with no hindrance. So, I started to connect with Wai Han and she replied me instantly. I told her that by God’s grace if my baby decided to come out during the day I would give her a call. All sounds good.

The Perfect Birth Preparation… (well, almost…)

The next morning, 15 Dec (Wed), I started to have birth show, the same sign that I have with my two girls. Prepared Yee Fang, Yee Jia to their mandarin classes, called the shop who was supposed to deliver the chinese herbs, checked out availability of rosemary herbs, called my confinement agent, etc. My husband then went to collect the rosemary herbs and Chinese herbs while I called Wai Han to inform her the good news. Shortly @10+, Wai Han came with her daughter Xin-E in style with their signature car which no one can forget. It just gives me the chuckle each time I see her special car. She even brought along a gym ball. It was so sweet of them.

Meanwhile, my contractions were ongoing while I ate light food in between. My husband fetched my two girls back and Xin-E had playmates then. I grinded the rosemary herbs and kept them. The bathroom was all prepared after I cleared my bowel. My part time cleaner arrived at 1+pm as expected. All was well and nothing was missing. Then, my husband realized that there was nothing to weigh the baby and started thinking where to get one. So, he went out on his quest to solve the weighing issue.

The Labour Continues

By 4+pm, my contractions were really frequent and I was up in the room waiting. Was on all kinds of position and used the gym ball for the first time. Finally, my husband rented a weighing machine and he was trying to work out how to use it for the first time. Meanwhile, the kids were having a gala time enjoying each other’s companion and playing all the toys available from all corners of the house, watched cartoon, had lunch, snack, dinner, bathed and we were patiently waiting for baby to come. I did my prayers and asked my son if he would like to come out at home, to come out safely and in good health.

By evening, the pain has been almost unbearable. I figured out the best spot to stay in was the washroom and it was rather cozy sitting on the sanitary ware actually. My husband stood by the camera and made sure the weighing machine was ready. He kept coming in and out to check if baby has arrived, while Wai Han helped to ease my back discomfort and guided me to breathe. No, I didn’t push. Wai Han told me to push only when I have the urge to. It was sometimes so painful that I thought this delivery was the most painful one that I had. I felt embarrassed that Wai Han had stayed so long at my place with her girl and wondered when will the baby come.

Meeting My En-Caul Baby

born with the sac, into Dad's warm palmThen, Wai Han stepped out and waited outside my bedroom while my husband came in to check on me. The contractions were so unbearable and I had the urge that the baby was coming. With about two long contractions that seemed like two heavy pushes, the baby’s head was finally visible and it was becoming so intense that I couldn’t stand and the baby was out finally with the sac that looked like a thin layer of veil over his head. Within a split second the sac broke and there was like a gush of water. The baby came oozing out that neither of us can catch him. There lying on the floor he was already protesting. My husband quickly got hold of him and talked to him. I was so tired and sat on the toilet bowl while my husband passed the baby to me. There was a peaceful silence as my baby was put into my arms.
 
nuchal hand: hand by the face and cord around neck. Baby rotated to birth his body[Wai Han: I stepped out sensing Mum needed Dad’s presence to welcome baby. I came in witnessing baby being born en caul. Mum was very low on fours leaning onto the gym ball. I cautioned Dad to receive baby carefully while trying to capture the moment on camera. Suddenly realized baby had slipped away from Dad’s palms, so had to quickly helped Dad to ‘collect’ baby & passed to Mum in between her legs. Mum then rested on the toilet bowl. The pain that Mum experienced during crowning was probably due to the nuchal hand, i.e. baby has his hand by his face.]
 
sac on birthing matI held Kuo Liang and waited for about 20mins, then placenta expelled itself. It was then Wai Han and my hubby cleaned up the placenta fairly. The placenta was placed in a small strainer on an almost equal size plastic container. I quickly cleaned myself up, had a quick shower and was a bit drowsy by the time I finished. Immediately breastfed Kuo Liang and he latched on so naturally. Then my hubby and Wai Han put rosemary powder on the placenta. Baby Kuo Liang was so peaceful and slept shortly. I was really tired and hungry too. Felt some discomfort and rested. My two girls was so awed looking at their new sibling. After that, Wai Han left and we were really grateful for her presence. It was later that my husband realized he forgot to weigh the baby when Wai Han was around.

cord falls offcord & placentaI breastfed exclusively as I did for my two girls. On the sixth day, the cord detached by itself. My husband buried it in our garden few days later. Baby Kuo Liang slept rather soundly for the first month. I felt my body regain strengths faster than the previous deliveries, although the previous two, only took within two weeks time to regain back to normal. Was there any tear? As many would ask. I truly didn't know as I didn't have it checked. Anyway, it has healed within a short period of time. To get Kuo Liang’s birth cert, my husband had to run a few trips with few hiccups but everything turned out all right after we visited our gynae to obtain his letter after an ultrasound.

Baby Kuo Liang is now six months old, still on exclusive breastfeeding and by God’s grace everything’s well. Grateful!

— Ling (Dec 2010)

proud Daddydotting sisters