I never thought I could really have a homebirth. My EDD came and went. I have already piled on 27 kg. My 2nd baby came out weighing 3.55kg, 9 days early and I have also put on 27kg for my 2nd pregnancy. C-sect was clearly on the horizon for me. But baby has already helped me decide.

How it all began…

After a few months trying (both my earlier pregnancies were planned and successful on the first try), I was finally pregnant. Phew.. I thought something was wrong with me. I knew I wanted a homebirth. I have read about it after my first baby. When I had my 2nd baby, only hospital in Penang offered waterbirth. I didn’t dare to think about homebirth then as I was still not ready. This time round, I talked to my baby. I asked if she is ok to be born at home. It’ll be among family, in a familiar surrounding. No rough handling by nurses, no poking by any needle. It’ll be a GENTLE birth.

After I went past my EDD (5 May 2010), I told baby, “Ok, come out whenever you decide, just come out fast.” On the morning of 9 May, Mother’s day, I had a different show from my other 2 pregnancies. Finally, baby’s arrival was imminent. Other than the show, there was no other movement signaling things were progressing. At 3pm, my hubby came back. Then we went out to buy my usual ABC (ais kacang) and rojak. On the way, I suddenly felt a surge but it only lasted a short while, then 3 more in an hour. After that, surges were irregular. Nothing to indicate that baby will come soon. I called my sister, who was out of town, to let her know I will be sending my 2 girls to her house later at night. Around 9 pm, I sms-ed my sister again to let her know if within an hour or so, if I still didn’t have any surge, I will not send my girls over. Guess what… no progress till after my girls slept. Looking back, baby helped me decide where she wants to be born.

After 10.30pm, my surges came 8-9mins apart. Then it was 4-5mins apart. I tried to ride out the surges on the gym ball. It helped definitely. Then my hubby went like… why are you so stubborn, told you to pack earlier… Around 1am+ I went around packing clothes for baby and me, just in case I need to go to the hospital. Then I told my hubby to put masking tape on the play gym pool and filled it up with warm water. I changed and got into the water. What a relief. Short while later, I suddenly had the urge to push. I sms-ed Wai Han and she told me, I must be bearing down. All this was happening too fast. I pushed as the surges got more intense. Thoughts were running in my mind. Yes, I think too much. I continued to push in the water. After some time, I could feel baby’s head when I put my fingers inside to check.

Born in water!beautiful cord2 hours later, I suddenly had an a-ha moment and told my hubby I need to stand above water. He helped me and I pushed few more times and I could feel her head crowning! This time round I didn’t feel the “ring of fire” that I felt with my 2nd baby. I told my hubby, I have no energy left so he has got to receive the baby. By the time he went behind me, the baby’s head was visible and he encouraged me to push some more. I took a deep breath and give it all and felt her body slid out from me. What relief and joy! My baby was finally out!!! I immediately put her to my breast and as expected, she took to the breast like a pro. Her eyes wide opened, examining her surrounding.

lovely placentaAfter almost an hour of bonding, I told hubby, I need to get out from the pool. The warm water was making me tired and sleepy. As I sat on the toilet bowl, the placenta came out. I then cleaned up and went to bed, continued to enjoy my baby. What a peaceful and tranquil process. Everything went smoothly and safely as expected.

What happened after that was not as peaceful though. I had many people, well-meaning really, (and I thank them for their good intentions) gave me a piece of their mind. Wow... I never expected such negative reactions but after thinking (hey, my brain works), I realize that these people have no idea about a truly gentle and safe birthing option. I’m sorry to say this, but it made me realized how uninformed people can be, educated or not.

cord drying upI have been going to the Klinik Kesihatan for antenatal checkups. I called the klinik nurses the next day. They came with ambulance, wanting to cut the umbilical cord and take both baby and I to the hospital. I let them checked on baby and me. No cord cutting. No hospital trip. They questioned me on the lotus birth thingy. They later returned with 2 police officers. I explained again - baby and mommy not sick. Hospitals are for sick people and I don’t want my baby to be exposed to germs or bacteria lurking in hospitals.

a happy 2.5mo baby ShaylynnAt the end of it all, I never once regretted giving birth at home nor did my hubby who was adamant he wasn’t going to receive baby. I will do it again and ten times more if you ask me. It was the best thing I could offer my baby. Was I afraid, doubtful? Why, YES of course but deep inside me, I had faith in my baby and myself. I wish for all mothers the kind of empowering birth I had experienced. You can do it if you think you can!!
 
 
 
— Teri Liew (May 2010)