Translated from the chinese version

My homebirth experience - (a letter to) my daughter who was born into my own hands

Little daughter RiverThe day when I knew of your coming, I just couldn't contain my smile. Your Papa was rather bewildered. I think he must have thought I'll be mad, because I never envision having many children. He didn't expect my joyful welcome of you. Looking at your endearing sister and brother, I believe you must be adorable too..

As you grow, your Papa and I started to seriously think, of how to best welcome you into the world.

Hospital is not a place I want to go. I wish to birth as natural as possible - not too many medical/drug interventions, no blinding bright lights nor freezing air-cond, no supine position, induction, electric fetal monitoring, vaccination nor separation of mother and baby. Although hospital reluctantly agreed, there are still doubtful and unfriendly nurses to face, and costly medical expenses... Why would I want to birth in the hospital?

Dear child, I yearned deeply for a homebirth - to birth in the most warm and cosy environment, surrounded by people we love. Is this possible? I don't have a single doubt for my birthing ability, but... is this really possible?

Perhaps my needs have been heard by the universe. Just a few weeks before birth, I got to know of a lady who had a homebirth, who is also a HypnoBirthing practitioner - Madam Soo Wai Han. I immediately contacted her for classes. She chatted with me for a while, and after understanding my situation, she said, "you don't need a course, come drop by for a chat. I can share some birthing videos with you."

Her cheerful, positive, affirmative voice brought me great inspiration and encouragement, which I still remember to date, and very much grateful for. Upon putting down the phone, I immediately felt assured and excitedly told your Papa, "I've decided to homebirth!!"

Perhaps he has yet to received Wai Han's "frequency", he just gaped at me. I gave him a wide sunshiny grin, a reply in affirmation.
～～～～～

Thankful to your Pa, for his unwavering trust and support for me... ^_^

Your Papa began to prepare for your birth, and got ready a big tub for me to labour in the water. He also read a lot of information online, and read materials related to labour and homebirth. The EDD came and went, but you have yet to come. As your Grandma's birthday was approaching, we decided to go to Grandma's house to celebrate for her. That night, I started to have some irregular surges. The next morning, I continued to feel those tightenings, as I went with your Papa to order a curtain for Grandma and ran some errands. I was calm. I worked along with my body - I carried out my daily tasks and my body carried out its birthing task, assisting your birth with every surge... how amazing! The surges didn't cause me sufferings. Instead, all I felt was joy and gratitude. And frankly, it was rather enjoyable, especially when I understand that all these were happening to assist your journey.

In the afternoon, we were almost certain we couldn't get back home in time for your birth. So, we bought another big tub. By the time we reached Grandma's house, it was 5:30pm. We went straight to 2nd floor bathroom. I settled down, in mind and body. Calmly and gently, I gave myself a bath... preparing to welcome you. You elder sister was by my side, happily playing water, knowing that the baby in Mama's belly was about to be born. She has witnessed your brother's birth, and we have watched some heartwarming birth videos together. So, she was familiar with what's about to happen. As time went by, the tightening sensations of the uterus were getting more intense. I immersed in the big tub - the warmth and pressure of the water were very soothing. Papa gently touched me, hugged me when needed, and massaged me to provide for more comfort... Dear child, we thanked him...

Your sister was in her own little tub, playing water and eagerly awaiting your arrival. After a while, the bathroom started to get stuffy. So Papa opened the door. 6:10pm... Baby, you were about to come out. I knew, because I felt my body's natural pushing urge. You Papa supported me from the back. Assuming a half-squating position, I went along with my body's natural urge. I could feel your hair, your head, slowly glided out... I joyously received you in my hands... and your body followed. Oh, my Baby... I craddled you in my arms. You didn't cry. Your sister was jumping and shouting excitedly. Papa was also full of joy. We gently touched you. Your body was slippery, covered with a layer of vernix. Ah, my child, what a memorable and beautiful first encounter! Suddenly, I thought, were you a girl or boy? Then only I took a glance. Oh, is a girl!

About 10 mins later, I carried you to the bed. Just as I stood up, the placenta was birthed. Papa prepared a container for this placenta that once connected us both. Your brother Ocean was still napping away in the room. Your Papa went downstair to inform Grandma of your birth, and asked her to contact nurses nearby to come for cord clamping. Grandma was freaked out by the news. In hindsight, it was fortunate that she wasn't informed of the labour, else her disapproval could have impeded us. Luckily, she wasn't aware of the whole birthing that took place - she was cooking, then watching tv leisurely. Thank God for this arrangement, at least Grandma didn't suffer from panic attack for too long. ^_^...

Meanwhile, I was enjoying our acquaintance and skin-to-skin contact. You were serene and contented in my embrace, not disturbed by any stranger. Once a while, you opened your eyes, searching for my gaze. With that look, I discovered you have calm and knowing eyes. Then you continued to snuggle in my arms. Slowly, you opened your mouth, searching for my nipple, your food source. Your calmness surprised me.

Dear child, do you know... when I welcomed you into my own hands, I was so full of joy. Our bonds began the moment you were born. I deeply felt that, the close bonding continues to date. You are almost 2 now. Often, in my embrace or when I pat you to sleep, the moment when you close your eyes, smiling sweetly, and goes off to sleep contentedly, still reminds me of the moment you were born...

About 40 mins after your birth, the nurse arrived. When she took you from my arms, you wailed. That was the first and only time you cried on your birthing day. When the nurse cut your cord, I felt an unwillingness to let go. After that, the nurse checked me. There was no tearing. The nurse commented, 'eloknya.. "

During your sleep on the 1st day, you naturally spitted out some mucus. You fed well and slept soundly. We didn't bring you to the hospital, as we have decided no vaccination for you. We also didn't bathe you thoroughly on the 1st day, because I felt the soap/cleansing agent would be too harsh on newborn. Dr. Lai Chui-Nan also mentioned, newborn's vernix contains wonderful nutrients and has warming effect. So, no rush for bath. A gentle wipe or a simple wash with warm water is sufficient. Do not wipe off the waxlike protective layer on the skin. It'll be absorbed naturally into baby's skin within one or 2 days.

Even though you have been a very peaceful child at birth and within the 1st month, you are now the most rowdy and cheeky one. Your health is also the strongest. I wonder if it has anything to do with Mama's healthy diet and the advancing age.

— Woon Sing (written in May 2010, birthed in June 08)
http://woonsing.multiply.com/journal/item/173/173
My previous 3 births: http://woonsing.multiply.com/journal/item/41/41
Suggested reading: Reclaiming Our Health by John Robbins

Chinese version